Side Dish: Oreo Cookies (April 12, 2010)

Too much free time can make you do crazy things.

Now don’t worry, I haven’t been out robbing banks or anything like that. Instead, I’ve been using some of my extra free time to try and notice the little things in life. Like how little Kevin and I have in our savings account. When you have more time than money, sometimes you write letters to companies about their products.

And sometimes those letters get you free Oreos.

So here is an example of a letter I wrote recently to a big company about its product. Hopefully you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If nothing else, this proves that you can, indeed, have too much free time on your hands.

Today I purchased a bag of Oreos filled with delicious chocolate creme. I have enjoyed Oreo cookies for years and, wanting a quick and delicious snack, grabbed a bag of Oreos to eat as I ran (not literally!) to the podiatrist for an appointment I had to reschedule two times!

As I opened the bag, the familiar smell of chocolate and Thiamine Mononitrate greeted my weary nose. As I started enjoying the cookies, however, I came to realize there was something strangely different. It took me a few minutes until I realized that some of the cookie part of my little “sandwich cookie” were put on backwards. So I saw a flat cookie back rather than the traditional design I have come to love, know and–quite frankly–expect.

I was shocked!

In fact, this was NOT just one isolated cookie incorrectly constructed. Several of the chocolate sandwich cookies in my bag were improperly put together!!! Initially, I hesitated to bring this to your attention. In over twenty blissful years of enjoying what I consider to be America’s premier sandwich cookie, I realize the potential implications this brings. Trust me when I tell you that it pains me to bring this to your attention. However, I recognize it as my duty as an American consumer to at least bring these misconstructed cookies to your attention.

Thinking about the nation’s children being brought up on generic sandwich cookies rather than Oreos makes me cringe as well. I look forward to hearing back from you about this issue.

Scotty Wandell